I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
