i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
