I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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