Welp...herpes.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize