dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
