I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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