He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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