She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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