i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You left your phone here
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