Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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