You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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