I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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