did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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