well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
