So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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