Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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