come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
