so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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