I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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