So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
