marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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