"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
