Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
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I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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