At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dignity is for republicans.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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