Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How does one acquire holy water?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
