I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
