so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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