It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
