ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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