you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
