so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
