It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
