At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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