There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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