I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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