Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
