we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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