The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
