thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
