Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
