If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
