my vag is so smooth its legendary
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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