You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
