Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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