If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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