she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
