..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize