We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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