don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
