I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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