his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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