tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
