he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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