So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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