the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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