i just had sex bonerless
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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