Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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