There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
