yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
