bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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