3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
