I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize