My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
