You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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