I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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