I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
